This is a new one for me, I'm usually not sitting there cross eyed for ten minutes trying to figure out "what the f". Well not since glitter beards but this one is a little different because of how popular they are.
In essence we are talking about turning your man sized beard into a miniature Christmas tree. I'll admit since the Christmas is my favorite time of year this sparked my interest but I can't see a reasonable opportunity to rock this. Unless you were knew you were going to get fired so you showed up to your holiday part obliterated and covered in these things just to be obnoxious. Now that I can get on board with.
Where To Buy Beard Baubles
There are several options, everything from amazon to niche websites just for these. I suggest you do some research on the material they are made with because you're probably going to be drunk enough to fall on your face or get punched in it to wear these. Make sure that it's a shatter proof plastic, you don't want to end up on that show "craziest ways to die" from a beard bauble laceration.
If you're anything like me then you're just hearing about this new trend. I'm not one to troll around Instagram all looking for the latest and greatest things so I'm a little behind on this, It wasn't until a lady friend of mine ask me if I've heard about "glitter beards".
I'm always looking for a way to give people the content they are looking for and if I played for the other team (demographic mostly associated with this trend) then I'd glitter the hell out of my beard too so here's a little guide on how to do it as well as some history behind how it came about.
Glittering Your Beard In 3 Simple Steps
Step 1 - Clean Your Beard
This thing is going to get funky after a while of wearing it and you're going to feel like you're wearing a pile of dirt rather than glitter unless you throughly clean it first.
Step 2 - Apply Beard Oil
If you've never done this before then just follow the advice I give on my best beard oil 2017 review page. The only difference is that you're going to dowse your beard and make sure that every place you want glitter is damp.
Step 3 - Apply Glitter
There are two ways you're going to need to apply this, first start by tilting your head back and sprinkling it with glitter, this will give you a good base. Then depending on how thick you want the coverage you'll need to lightly pat handful's of glitter into your beard and mustache.
It's really that simple, I would love to tell you that there is an art to it but you don't have to be a rocket scientist to glitter something, just crazy enough to do it!
Why Would You Ever Want To Do This?
If you're not "playing for the other team" then you're probably wondering why you would ever want to do this right? Well let me give you a real life example of how you could use this.
After a long night of wandering the streets with friends I come home to the typically accusation "You went to the strip club!" due to a piece of glitter on my shirt. If you've ever been to old town Scottsdale then you've seen the bottle service comes with giant poppers that cover you in glitter so rather than fight the good fight I just let it go.
The following time I went out with friends I planned a heard and stocked up at Michael's that morning. Before returning home in a state of liquid courage I stopped by one of the guy's houses and put on a full glitter beard.
As you can guess my statement "Look honey, I went to the Stripclub and they really like me there" went over well, what a fun relationship that was.
The last thing I'll say is make sure you use glitter, don't use random types of cereal in your beard. Good day!
Looking for the most up to date list of the best beard styles in 2017 then you've come to the right place and if you're here by mistake then you are also welcome because you probably need to fix that dysfunctional thing you call a beard.
Short Beard Styles
Classic look best made by a trimmer rather then just growing it out.
Image via pinterest.com
Thick Sideburns w/ Stubble
Sideburns are longer than your short stubble beard.
Image via pinterest.com
Using strait razor you line up your cheeks.
Image via girlsaskguys.com
The lazy man look, this is just going completely unmaintained as it grows.
Image via nonohairremovalx.com
Using the correct guard, trim towards the floor, making the cheeks hair thinner than the chin.
Image via beardstyle.net
Disconnected goatee, you'll need to shave a sport between your mustache and chin.
Image via Pinterest.com
Clean shaved face with chin hair only which can be long or short.
Image via ruggedrebels.com
Full facial hair with the chin completely shaved.
Image via beard.org.in
Man-sized version of the soul patch.
Image via pinterest.com
"Hulk Hogan Mustache"
The ultimate American symbol, goatee with the chin shaved off.
Image via siouxcityjournal.com
Old school cut used to scare kids, only grow out your neck hair and shave the rest.
Image via tumblr.com
A thin mustache that you make by using a razor to thin to your liking.
Image via coolmenshair.com
Image via howretro.com
Can be clean shaved or with stubble.
Image via huffingtonpost.com
Only keep the mustache hair under your nose and shave the rest.
Image via atozhairstyles.com
Van Dyke beard
Grow a long chin beard and shave a gap between your mustache to break the goatee.
Image via dmarge.com
Overgrown mustache that would be impossible to eat with.
Image via me.askmen.com
Thick soul patch with a full mustache.
Image via http://flavorwire.com
5 O'Clock Shaddow
How you look 12 hours after shaving.
Short cut with the same length all around.
Image via birchbox.com
Chin Strap w/ Mustache
Line the cheeks to make them thinner and complete with a full mustache.
Image via theodysseyonline.com
Classic chin hair attached to mustache.
Image via wennermedia.com
Using a razor thin the size of the entire goatee.
Image via wahl.com
Regular goatee with stubble.
Image via machohairstyles.com
Short & Thick
Very dense short cut with the same length.
Image via menshairforum.com
Low lined cheeks, use a razor to do this.
Image via quora.com
Unmaintained and textured with a product.
Image via hairstylesmen101.com
Handlebar Mustache w/ Stubble
Thick or thin handlebar with stubble.
Image via trendy-hairstyles-for-men.com
Fade hair cut that blends into the beard of any size.
To be honest I wanted to give you not only a guide of how to use a bread trimming template but also a DIY way to cut out your own. Why? Because I wanted the same thing, I thought why buy one of these cheap plastic shaping tools when I can make one out of a block of wood, all I need is a faint excuse to fire up the saw and I'm doing it. Turns out now matter how good of craftsman you are the cheap plastic route is just that much better. So much to my dismay since I would love to see a world of men with a slab of oak against their face while they are training, here is a guide to using a shaping template.
Beard Trimming Guide Tool How To's
1. Comb Out Your Beard
I like to wet the comb a little to get the hair to cooperate a little more and tame some of those stragglers first. Don't get your beard too wet or you'll run into issues with the clippers getting gunked up. Pick your favorite comb/brush here, I tend to use all of them at once just to prove a point.
2. Decide Your Depth
I tend to go a little lower than most but everyone is different on this due to the shape of your face. You will see notches in the side of the tool (if it's a good one) that will help you line up both sides evenly every time. I have an oddly large tragus so I use that to line up the dots with and as a side note who knew that weird thing that women sometimes pierce is called a tragus... Make sure you pick a spot on your ear and use it consistently because if you pick a difference spot every time, one morning or a time when you decide to drunk trim, you're going to end up looking like you had a stroke victim with one droopy side.
3. Line Up The Tool & Press To Your Face (Trimmer or Blade)
Don't be afraid to get aggressive with it, now we're not forcing marshmallows into keyholes here but you want to get it firm enough against your face so that you don't cut underneath it. Basically the opposite of the picture that I'm providing you on the right. Now depending on the length of hair on your cheeks your can do one of three things. First, use a trimmer only to give the five o clock shadow look. Second, if you have shorter hair then you can go strait for the razor and get a close shave on those rosy cheeks. Finally, if you want the close shave but have a build up of cheek hair then to a little weed wacking (trimming) first then shave it down.
4. Flip The Tool Upside Down For Neckline
This is my favorite part because as you can see when you do this correctly you look like a degenerate gambler or strait pirate until you cut the little point off the bottom of your neckline. All you do is flip the tool upside down and trim your neck on both sides by flipping it horizontally. Then trim the remaining piece off your neck unless your want to look like you just spent your kids Christmas gift money at the Golden Nugget.
5. Clean Up Your Side Burns
It's best to do this step after you've finished your neckline so you can line it up perfectly. Simply flip the tool back to Step 3 position and trim the backside, the part between your beard and your ear, following it all the way down and lining up with our neckline.
If you've done all this correctly and you didn't start drinking at 3am then you should have a killer looking beard. If you for any reason cut yourself it's not my fault, you have fat hands and you need to go on a diet chumbo.
My Favorite Tool
If you know me, then that's already weird because you found this off the search engines, you know my favorite brand is Zeus. They make killer oils and balms and they just added this tool that has a straight edge to it too so you can make some crazy shapes with your beard. Click the link or picture to check it out
First and foremost you need to know "what the hell are hollywoodian style beards", a simple answer is that it's one of the most clean cut beard styles you can have. It's a full facial beard with disconnected sideburns and a cleaned neckline. The trick of this style is that you have to be precise and understand the shape of your face, one wrong move could make the hard work you put into trimming your beard a complete accident or the fact that your buddies pulled a practical joke on you when you were sleeping.
For instance take a look at Leo, even with unmaintained beard the fact that it's disconnected gives him the appearance that it's purposeful. The main reason why if you go to a large corporate office you will most likely see this style of beard.
How Do You Trim It?
1. Shave the sideburns from exactly halfway down the ear to the top of the jawline (either razor or trimmer depending on closeness desired).
2. Clean cheek line with a razor while outlining the beard shape.
3. Clean the neckline with razor or trimmer.
It's a very simple process and the key is to make sure you don't shave your sideburns too high or your beard too low.