The Authority On Everything From Beard Oil’s / Balm’s & Kicking Ass

What Does a Beard Brush Do?

Well the obvious answer is that  a Beard Brush is a professional tool that makes it possible to trim your beard with incredible precision but not all are created equally. There are three types of materials used to make a man brush and the best quality one's are made out of boars hair.

Three Types of Brush Fibers

1. Boars Hair

2. Horse Hair

3. Synthetic

What Are The Best Available Beard Brushes

Brand Type Image
ZilberHaar Regular Boars Hair Brush
Liberty Premium Grooming Co Regular Boars Hair Brush
CanYouHandleBar Circular Horse Hair Brush

Brushes alone won't tame or even maintain a wild beard, they are merely a tool used by professionals and people who want to take their beard to the next level. All brushes need to be packaged with a high quality beard oil product to optimize it's effectiveness.

Why We Don't Trust Amazon Reviews For Brush Quality

To give you a little insight into my world I'm an online marketer, now this should be obvious because who else would make a site about this other than someone who knows how to monetize it. The world of Amazon is a very easy one to game, while Google has done a great job at cleaning up the quality of their results but Amazon reviews are still very easy to game. So the moral of the story is trust me and no one else otherwise you'll probably have a weak beard and end up with man boobs.


How Much Does a Facial Hair Transplant Cost

Facial Hair Transplant cost anywhere from $3,500 - $7,000 but it's much more than just smacking some body hair on your face. The hair used to turn your middle schooler beard into a full man sized beard comes from the back of your head. I don't know about you but I would take some inadequateness's in the front then a divot in the back.

Beard Transplant Patient

Image via http://www.telegraph.co.uk

What's The Good News About Beard Transplants

I know there are some serious drawbacks like price and where you get your future beard from but there is a positive side. The results are pretty dramatic, of all the case studies I've seen not only was there a noticeably positive difference but in the majority of cases there was no hint of the procedure. With the current beard trend growing stronger by the month it's obviously appealing to hop on and take the ride and if you've never been able to grow facial hair fully then it's a real consideration to go under the knife but make sure you're ready. It's a pricey and painful surgery to be Mansized!


Ducktail Beard- How To Trim It

Well first thing I had to do is figure out what the heck they meant by it, all I could picture was Scrooge Mcduck. Once I saw a picture of it I knew instantly what they were talking about, definitely not what I call it from where I'm from but none the less it's a simple process.

To Trim Your Beard Into A Ducktail Beard Follow These Directions

1. Your beard mus be at least 1 inch below your chin.

2. Start at the Top & Center of your chin trimming in an arch motion towards the desired end point of your manscaping invention.

3. Continuously comb down the front of your beard and up your neck to get an accurate length.

4. Begin shaping from your duck point up the left side of your chin gradually decreasing in length.

5. Repeat step four on the right side of your face.

6. Blend sideburns and mustache area to your liking.

guy cutting a ducktail beard

For more tips visit our category for all things men's styling - Styling Tips


Beard Oil CVS Review

What Beard Products CVS Actually Carries

Well I can't figure out who had the horrible idea of carrying this crapy brand first but one of these companies need to get a gold star for being the laziest kid in class. Not only does CVS carry terrible quality of bread products but they chose the same exact line as Walgreen's. Don't try to tell me that they had no choice because it's the hottest selling one on market because I've never heard of this goat piss in a bottle before I started reviewing these stores. I'm tempted to just send you to my Walgreen's beard oil review but I know Google wouldn't appreciate my lack of effort so I guess I'll just rant a little more on my disdain for this sh*t show (side note, who knew that disdain was spelled like that, took me 5 minutes to figure that out).

Product Use
Balm
Oil
Wash
Conditioner

Now as you can probably tell by the 6 grader artwork these products aren't worth even trying but I still like it's comical to point out that they tried to appeal to one of the most manly demographics in the world by putting a toad looking hipster on the front. I stated this in my other review but I still can't believe that they think by adding numbers to the product that it's going to trick anyone over the age of twelve. If that's the market they are targeting then they hit it, the rare freak of a 7th grader who has a full beard, by all means keep pushing CVS.

To check out any of my other jerky but honest reviews or to find out more about beard products as a whole visit Beard Oil Balm homepage.


Beard Oil Target – It’s Complete Crap!

Target Beard Oil & Balm Review

Well look what we have here, another large corporation throws it's had into the "who can carry the crappiest beard oil race". We all know from my previous post that Walmart is clearly in the lead but let's dive into evil empire that is Target and see how they measure up. Something tells me just by the fact they are confused by their lady bathrooms and if I feel exhausted from eating a small cow that I can use the sit down to pee bathroom... This is going to be a close race.

Maestro's

Maestro's BalmAnother gem of a product, I almost fell for it with a logo that either resembles a husky Zeus or the guy from Fraiser but then I flipped it over. After I read that the product is recommended for dry, oily, regular and sensitive skin; I knew it was a crap product. I don't know about you but I've tried to use an ex's sugar scrub on the good ole private's and ended up fan drying them for 2 hours until the hives went down. Don't tell me that one product can work with all types and check out their "legitimate" review below (That's sarcasm just in case you missed it).

Maestro's Reviews

Pacinos

PacinosNow let's get into their flagship product, the front runner for below average on every level. Let's first start by reiterating that REAL beard oils don't come in recycled Loreal make bottles, they come in awesome little glass containers. I don't care how great your product is, by packaging it in something that is going to leak plastic toxins in it and decay at the first exposure to light you're telling me that I'm too stupid to know that you're skimping on your packaging. The fake reviewer on targets site comment at how great it smells, it's unscented and a horrible product. Next!

Bulldog

Bulldog Original ProductsI can't figure this one out, they go so lost in their branding campaign that they actually look like a product for dogs. So by all means if you have one of those dogs with the crazy dreadlocks then get this for them but don't put this junk on your face.

 

Now if you've learned anything from our time together then you know that the big box stores carry dumpster quality products. Your best bet is to go with every recommendation I make on men's facial hair products.


Beard Oil Walmart – Why It’s Crap!

Walmart Beard Oil Review

Dear Sam Walton, I look forward to challenging you to a duel when I see you. I carry my face slapping glove in my back pocket for just the occasion. I thought Walgreen's did the piss poorest job possible at trying to help a man and his beard out but then you showed up.

Cremo

First let's look at their exclusive beard oil Cremo Tea Tree Mintproduct with an awe inspiring name "Cremo". I don't know about you but with a name like that aren't you shaking in anticipation to put that crap on your face. Now, I'm the first one to look past some horrible flaw and see the real substance of something. Just not my more than medium husky ex who could make a mean meatball but who knows what the heck they are putting in this thing. They claim that they throw in a few quality ingredients but if you find out exactly how much there is in there before I do then feel free to reach out. My guess is that it's a drop of the good stuff and the rest is eal farts. This product's biggest claim and selling proposition is that it's not tested on animals, do you have any idea how hard it would be to test a product on an animal if you wanted to. You would basically have to buy a private island off the coast of Africa and breed your own genetically mutated species. Thanks but no thanks.

BB Super Grow With Vitamin E

BB Super Grow Hair ProductBut wait there's a late entry in the Walmart race for crappiest beard product. Now this particular gem is hard to find, made me feel like one of those weird Pokemon kids looking for the cat one that kicks everyones ass. I almost gave up until I accidentally tripped over it, they apparently made a nice display of it, or should I say they had one tub left sitting next to an aged gallon sized LA Looks. Now if you can't tell that this is just a bottle of shea butter with the packaging fingernail scrapped off and a beard balm sticker slapped on then I don't know what to tell you. By far the winner of all the loser products.

Go check out my post on shaving with a straight edge, you'll never use it but this link will help me rank better.


Beard Oil Walgreen’s & Why It’s Crap!

What Beard Oil They Actually Have in Store

Nice try Walgreen’s but I’m not falling for your lazy attempt at making a manly product. While you’ve been good to me in the past by supplying me with 3 choices of cereal on Christmas day when everything else was closed and I suddenly needed Fruity Pebbles (which you didn’t have – what kind of sociopath eats plain Cheerios…) this is the last straw.

These products are packaged in what I can only describe as a plastic diaper, the reason quality beard oil comes in a dark GLASS container is because it keeps the ingredients in their purest form longer and protects them from light damage.

Now I know what you’re thinking “Well it say’s 25 on it, has to be good right?”, nah. They just grabbed a small amount of ingredients that they thought everyone might want and added them to the true bulk of the mixture which is a cheap filler (shea butter or almond oil).

I challenge you to go down there and see for yourself on one condition, you smack the store manager for insulating us. Once you’re done with that then come back to my site (or get it over with now) and buy the one I recommend. I built this site for a reason, to save you from making the biggest man hair mistake of your life. My beard approves of this message.

Conditioner 25

Deep Conditioner 25

Wash 35

Daily Wash 35

Oil 25

Oil 25

Balm 25 Medium

Balm 25 Fine & Coarse


Best Gifts For Guys With Beards

Beard Gifts!

While there should be an international holiday called "Beard Day" where every man with a beard get's showered with gifts and those without have to watch with envy. Until that day comes you're just going to have to use special days to shower that special beard in your life. Here is a list of great gifts you can get that special someone, me...

1. Beard Oil

These wonderful little bottles of miracle juice work amazingly on a rough and rugged man beard. Whether you're in the fetus stage of growing it or you've been at it for years these potions keep it growing strong. Note - Now they come in delicious flavors like apple pie.

2. Beard Balm

This is a great one to throw in a man's goody bag because they are easy to travel with. You won't be mistaken for a terrorist trying to smuggle something in one of the dark colored glass bottles that the oil's come in and they help make a kickass beard.

3. Lap Dance

While I don't have an affiliate product to sell you off of this idea I wish I did. I think it's just a great point to add to the conversation, appreciate your bearded man. Shower him with goodies as well as your goodies.

In conclusion, you can't go wrong with either gift idea so make sure you don't... get him something. For more beard tips visit our homepage.


How To Grow a Kickass Beard

While you might think it's common knowledge for every man, that at birth they inherently have the skills to squeeze out those man fibers with ease but you would be surprised the number of womanly men who can't. Al Bundy would turn over in his future grave to see that you even typed this into Google but anyway here it is,

How To Grow A Beard

1. Flex At Every Opportunity

This too should go without saying but any chance you can interrupt your girlfriend or a random's conversation by flexing through the pain of listening to them, take it. It's imperative that squeeze every muscle on your body at once, the closer you get to injury the more hair will spring from your face.

2. Pick Fights With Strangers

Any true American knows that it's Un-American not to fight a random stranger who doesn't look and act like you in every way. Whether it's the glasses they wear or the cut of their jib unload on them with a furious anger until more hair appears on your face.

3. Dirt

My personal favorite, cover your face in dirt. Mud is an acceptable substitute but only when you are in a full Arnold costume from Predator. Specifically dirt from a baseball diamond, which is know to have massive and explosive beard growing effects!

In all seriousness, use something that keeps your skin clean and healthy. Genetics play a big role in it but you can always aid in the process by using beard enhancing products. If all else fails and you don't have the money to invest in proper hair and beard care products follow the steps above and surely someone will feel sorry enough for you and buy them.

 


Are Beards in Style 2017

The fact is that beards are never going away so learn how to get your beard to an epic status before natural selection kicks in and mother nature kills your weak ass.

Not only are beards still in style but the market as whole continues to grow, how else and why else do you think I would have an entire website dedicated to beard oil & balm's. There is so much potential not only for marketing but a ton of useful products. How many times have you thought about a person and you were puzzled on what the hell to buy them. Well if they are a man then they have a beard and if they have one those then they are in desperate need of some sort of beard care product. Believe me I was total against them and thought that even if I like it then I still wouldn't use because simply stated I know myself. But it turns out that I haven't missed a day and it's my favorite creeper conversation starter to ask a woman "Hey, smell my face".... Normally a horrible idea but when you have an oil or balm on the response is always "Holy crap your face actually smells great"

Take it from me beards aren't going anywhere, in fact I would dare to say that it is almost a futuristic word (I don't know what the heck I meant by that, I'm getting tired of writing).

Classic beard style for 2017


When Does a Beard Stop Growing

It's every mans biggest fear, a borderline pandemic...

When Beard Growing Stops

The truth is that it Never Stops, you have obviously done something to mess up how manly your are. Start making a checklist to see if you have made any of these common man card taking mistakes:

1. Made a Checklist

Men don't make checklists, you are only allowed to write your thoughts in three ways, in dirt with a sharp object, by peeing on a wall or by burning something.

2. Went On a Girly Diet

Have you recently been convinced by your girlfriend that you should stop eating meat and start being part of the solution. Then you have bigger issues then your beard, you have become what we in animal kingdom call a twerp. You should be reading this having whatever you're currently eating drip blood on the keyboard.

3. Neglected Your Only Friend, BeardHow to keep a beard growing

If you haven't bought a beard oil or balm product then what did you expect. Your beard can only carry you for so long before it needs you to step up and bring something to the relationship. No wonder your girlfriend wanted you to stop eating meat you selfish fool.

4. Cried

This one goes without saying, men don't cry... we throw up out of our eyes.

Check out our post on how to shave like a man - straight edge razor shaving.


Leave In Conditioner For Beards

The Best Leave In Conditioner For Your Beard

1. Honest Amish Beard Balm Leave-in ConditionerHonest Amish Balm

Honest Amish makes a great all natural leaving in conditioner and balm. While it claims to be Vegan friendly which doesn't seem to make much man sense to me and shouldn't matter, has that too. A ton of great stuff like
pumpkin seed oil, avocado oil and a crap ton of nut butters

beard bolt xl beard cream2. Delta Genesis Beard Bolt XL

While it may sound a little hipster and dorky it actually works very well. While it doesn't claim to have all the thrill ingredients that Amish does but it works deceivingly well. I got this balm as a gift and thought "what a horrible gift" at first but it remains to one of all time favorites. Now I might be bias because it was one of the first beard balms I slapped on my face but I still think it kicks ass.

 

3. Smooth Viking Beard BalmSmooth Viking Beard Cream

Well first off what a killer name, who doesn't want to be a little more viking like in life. The good thing about this one is that it's one of the least greasy ones on the market. Sometimes living in Arizona I won't waste time with certain brands in the summer because the heat just make you feel like a greasy Italian mobster. Not the look I'm going for, I want a clean look that makes women creep. Solid choice my friends!